Saturday, December 25, 2010

I've Seen Better Day

(Noch, from Noch, 2009-)

A few steps closer, a few steps back, you'd be safer, a few too many, and we'll feel the wind rush by our ears. I close my eyes and say, there will be no sound, there will be no fall, there will only be...

The sad thing is they'll bury us in separate lots, that I probably won't even be in the same state, and that my ghost would have to hitchhike to come see you. The saddest thing is that you will never see me again.
A few too many, we could've had more, but it was never enough. I'm hurt, my face feels stupid, and I can't seem to get my head out of my ass. I swear, each and every time, that these are my saddest days of my life, just like every time I get sick I think I'm going to die. Just this one time, I know I think it every time, but just this one time. And puff, I disappear.

And so do you.

I awake to find my bed empty, my blood still red, and my face still stupid. Damn. Daydreamer come find yourself some breakfast, and it was the same thing I had yester. Come downstairs, put your hat on and cover those ears, it's a cold one out there, you'll lose them, as I point to my ears (a passerby looks at me talk to myself and a pauses for a moment). Step by step, without a slip, and I take to the ground like baby's first steps. I put a smile on, I like the way it feels, I jump ahead, and I hit the ice but no falling here, not today, because today I'm not going to die, and today isn't the saddest day of my life.

A few blocks down, thieves wait for an idiot. They see a Tag Heuer, it's my fathers, it doesn't matter, it's worthless, no it's not, but there's scratches, now look at your face.

Pity is something only one person in the whole goddamn world can ever understand, and right now, I feel lonely. I made friends, or rather, I made A friend, his name is my own, his height is the same, he talks slightly different, but it's all the same. I look behind and he is not there, for no shadow follows me, for the sun passes through me, it kisses each and every cell, and leaves without saying goodbye. I am the phantom as I call out to my kingdom, I would roar, but I pose no threat, I am here to stay, and will not disappear. Disappear. Disappear.


(P.S. I got my watch back, oh that, well you should see the other guy)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

To Fall, and To Hit Hard, But To Touch A Bit of Soft (Again)

(Swampthang (test shot for TOMB, of Barking Wall), 2010)

I am not alone.
I am not alone.
I am not alone.

I am not alone.

(and can I get a goddamn somewhere in there)

...alone, goddamn!

When the sherif and I arrived to my place there was nothing left, it was all gone, everything, my undies were all over my neighbor's yard, my books covered in animal pee, and bit and pieces of familiar looking things all shattered across 4 acres of land. I was homeless, and nothing, I'll tell you, nothing really hit me. I missed the shockwave of devastation, I dodged the face of terror, I lived a shotgun blast to my entitlement, and I felt nothing changed. The sherif opened my door as I just sat there, looking for a face to make it appear I was concerned, but by the time that door opened I just got up, and said thanks in the straightest voice I had and proceeded to walk with him. I gave a hotdamn, and said something funny, and heard a silent shit from the sherif, a sorrybud, and a long and quiet wellllll(sigh). He went over to his car, reached into his glove compartment, and walked back to my side, he said here, I looked down to his hand, and there it was, a 6oz flask, with the words, "GRAND MASTER FLASK" written on its side. I took a few swigs, and nothing hard could slow me now I said to myself, and with that I finished the whole damn flask. When I was done, the sherif said his goodbyes, and left me before I can return what was his.
In the summer of 89', I was homeless, and decided to travel. And so, I finally did, with a rush of goodbyes to each and every face I can grab in a day, I took off like a 30 year old fart, puffff.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


(Documentation from Barking Wall, 2010)

A little more than a month ago I started a photo-blog of everyday images from my life. Mixed in there is all the trendy things that are going on with photo-blogs, such as youtube videos, and shout-outs. Anyhoot, it's here:

Sunday, December 5, 2010

You Beast, You Burden, or I Shall Fall (again)

The end is not nigh, the end is not nigh, please, not now, not tomorrow, not in a couple of years, not ever. I kept telling myself that until I awoke to find myself naked in a field, surrounded by blood, and I could hear screaming coming from the woods. It took me a few minutes to really figure out where I was, and by the time I got on my feet I was running.
The night was like any other, the moon somewhere in the sky, and everything was lit by just the fullness of the moon. I was in my thirties then, I had developed these legs I was finally proud of, and remember thinking to myself, amongst the chaos happening all around me, that I was glad all that training I put into those legs worked out. Sure I screamed, sure I was running, and screaming like the rest, and at times I felt they were running away from me. I slowed down, and started running the opposite way, but they yelled NO!, and I yelled, WHY!?, and they yelled back, just NO!, pause, just doooON'T!. So I looped around and ran back, but just then and there on the side of my vision, I saw it.
The thing was huge, it was mightier than the mountain, it encompassed the sky, with two red circular eyes, our hearts were frozen, our faces ghostly, we were going. to. die.
I swear to God this moment froze, I moved my fingers, they wiggled, I turned my head and it turned. The world was frozen, the beast was gone, those frightened faces suspended, and my legs still attached to the ground. When I awoke, I was moist from peeing myself at some point, all was silent, and I was cold, seeing my breath materialize before me. The ground had stopped shaking, there wasn't a stir in the air, and for a moment, I felt at peace. The palm leaves hissed in the wind, the moon appearing bigger than ever, I told myself I am ready to die.
The next day, I returned to that field, I told the sherif that this was where I last saw it, the more I said IT the more I was losing him. We searched that field for hours, and found nothing more than some rotten pineapples, a dead cat, and a series of gold pebbles. We retired close to sunset, the Sherif offered me a ride, and we both looked at that sunset, knowing that there will never be one quite like that one ever again.