(Kawaki & Lawrence and the rock the brings the luck, Halawa Valley, Molokai, HI, 2009)
I am so awful. Awfully shy, awfully awkward, and awfully strange; the only place I feel like I fit is when I fail to fit in.
When I asked my mother if I will ever stop being so darn confused about everything, my mother told me: probably never, but that's a good thing. You just get older, and things get more complicated, but it's all the same (really), just in adult-size. But this time I don't get a little toy at the end of this meal; a meal I had to pay for; a money I had to earn; and a wallet I had to steal (not really, that just sounded nicer).
THIS GETTING OLDER BUSINESS NEVER REALLY GETS ANY BETTER (at least I don't think it does, but if it did, that would be nice (even for just a day)).
I started biking a lot recently, even when I'm not on a moving bike (stationary), and when I'm really going at it, I mean, like going the distance, and I'm passing everyone on the street, or I'm seeing people come in to ride beside me, and see them look at the miles I got on my display, and they look tired, and then leave; I feel young again. Not a young that is found when feeling old, because I'm not that old, but a young that is found in childhood. I remember that kid, he was the fastest runner around. All the kids would look fat and unhealthy to this (points to his chest with the only pride he has) kid. Because back then; back in the day, it was all about that. It wasn't about how much you can bench, or how many holes you dug; it was about how fast you can run, how long you can hold your breath (I'm no good at that), and having the best ghost stories around (I'm still pretty good at that, I did live in a haunted house after all).
I'm talking that youth, that kid, and those times; in these times, with these faces, and all that I have as a human. THIS AIN'T NO BOOK, THIS AIN'T NO MOVIE WITH A CLEVER NAME, THIS IS LIFE ("AND IT IS ALL HAPPENING RIGHT NOW")
So check it out now, because THIS funk is your brother!