idontknow (again)

(One Line Conceptual Image, a photographic sonic tetraicosaptych installation, c-print, plywood, paper cup, and string, 2009)

Peel back the layers and I still don't

With arms reaching forward and I still don't

Open my heart and I still don't

I can't stop and I still don't

I tell everything, word for word, and leave little behind and I still don't

Fallen apart and organized again, and I still don't

Everyday, again and again, over and over, I still don't

What leads to this and what leads to that, what string connects me to her, and to him, and everyone I see, touch, and feel, and where does the string end, we're all tripping over it. Some get buried alive in it, some reel it in and put it on to spools in a small collection of memories. Some get dragged along, some pull. Along the wire you can hear the voices of many, and though there are too many to tell what one is saying, as a whole; a bath of noise, you can hear the small subtleties, and the tones of all these voices, miniture to their flesh and blood, but true to them. I ask what this all means, and they all wait in silence for the other to answer. Nothing.

So what can be said, why all these connections, why are we connected.
Maybe it is right now, when we both acknowledge each other, we feel each other's hearts to read for a pulse, and we know we are alive. It isn't the future, for we can reach all we want but can never touch it, and by the time we make it there, we'll still be here, in the present.

Your heart beats with mine, and I still don't