Friday, June 5, 2009

Learning To Love Yourself (More) pt.2

(Darcy, The Great Escape, 2008-2009)

Nine Ways To Lie To Yourself
A reflection is a hard thing to face because you can't lie to it. You're not lying to yourself, you're lying to a person you have known your own life. And sometimes you're only friend once everything feels lost.
Tell yourself that it doesn't matter, and that everything will be ok. And it will, with time, and lie about that too; that tomorrow will be a better day. Tell yourself that he or she will realize what they are missing, and in your head make up a scenario of how exactly that will happen; because that is how it will. From now on, things will be better. And then promise yourself, to let go. You will meet someone that will change you forever; that will take care of you when you feel like how you feel today. Misery is an illusion, and soon it will fade away like a storm parting to show you how much warm the sun is just before sunset. You will feel like going on adventures, and your heart will feel alive again. You no longer have to force a smile to meet the day. You're walking on your own, you're happy, and that is all that matters. You're great, you can do this all on your own, and then lie to yourself some more. Because the truth is you never needed anyone like you needed to believe in yourself. You don't have to tell yourself how good you are, because no one else knows more that you.

A New Start
Right now. No, not in the morning after a nice sleep to give you a fresh start. Right now, you want change, well change ain't waiting, you gotta do it now. Sorry for being demanding, but look, you gotta get up. It all starts now, you want it, I want it, we all want it, but it ain't starting until you're ready. Are you ready? Ok, let's do this. Change.
Forget about what you want, what you think you need because those are the things that got you wanting change in the first place, right now, move forwards, even if you don't know what direction you want to go in. It's all about moving, and keeping it up, and every thing else will find its way. You will learn new languages on the road, you will meet new people, and they will last after your handshakes and salutations. They will ask you your name, we should give you a new name. This will make it more exciting, and it will be symbolic to this new change in your life, you are a new (man or woman), and most importantly, your new life. Your handshake is firm and tells everyone new in your new life that you are sure and confident, now smile. They see it in your eyes now, and it's attracting more, look. They'll invite you to their homes, you'll get to meet their kids, they're nice folk, and you'll tell them all stories over a warm dinner, and then the kids will go to sleep, and the adults will converse some more. They won't be able to get enough of you, you're fun and exciting, full of knowledge and adventure, and you're doing a great job keeping all these stories going, even if they're not true. You tell them how you are a writer, and that you're currently writing a book. They ask what it is about, and after two hours and eight glasses of wine they are hooked on you. There will visits to the cottage, and camping trips, you'll bust out survival tactics, and bring your own box of knives, telling them each one is instrumental to surviving off the fat of the land. They'll begin to look up to you, seeing you as someone who is daring and has life in the palm of their hands; you have conquered life and yet you still seek out struggle and excitement. You're amazing! And you will look in their eyes, and see the life you have created, and how wonderful it is; you're out in nature. And for a moment you will glimpse into the past and remember how things once were, how it was far different from this, and you will see how far you have traveled. You will grow tears, and your audience will grow a profound emotion that cannot be described in words as they gasp. This is of course just the beginning, and as you imagine on, I will leave it up to you to write the rest of this story. This is your life, you're the author of it.

1 comment:

BROOKE said...

i am right there